When I wrote the movie, I had you in my mind's eye to play "Meatball on the right" … it's a key acting role.

You'll get front page billing.

I am the gravy.

The frankfurter, whose name shall be "beans", Frank 'n Beans to be exact, is both.

You've got the part. No need to audition. It is a roll-on part though. The others have walk-on roles. But its a low budget movie, so I saved on your shoes.

You'll be paid in Lingonberry jam. But I sprung for smooth, not chunky. I'm not a total heathen.