I grew up in racially divided South Africa. It was a beautiful childhood – in a beautiful country. We had everything you could wish for. We were white! A family privileged by the stroke of a pen and by a political system, middle class and affluent because of skin colour, nothing to do with ability. And as a boy, I didn’t know anything different or realise anything was wrong.
As I got older I learned that white South Africans were basically racist from birth, and in denial. I see it in American comments on social media now as well. It’s not necessarily intentional – it is however ignorance and fear. Our SA political system provided the fertiliser and cultivated racism to a point where we thought it was normal! I still encounter it in older white South Africans, some are family members. They selectively pick and choose situations to show POC in a poor light – And then say – ‘I told you they were all thieves or whatever they need to be to justify a viewpoint’. The system made us all collectively racist to some extent. And when your racism is collective – it doesn’t seem wrong and gains a level of acceptability. After all, everybody’s doing it, just like all police in the USA are either targeting POC or turning a blind eye. Either way – It’s racist and very transparent. Racism has definite levels – some quite subtle, but its still racism.
South African whites held all the cards. White children became ‘managers’ from birth – from the moment we could gesticulate or talk we would issue instruction to ‘staff’ – boss over them by pointing, talking or whinging. All white families had a black domestic servant – we all paid these servants peanuts, so it was affordable and collectively acceptable. Being a manager from birth creates a very arrogant mindset. I’m reminded of this arrogance by the actions and denial of White Supremacists in America today. Whiteness gives you collective privilege! In SA, black staff, many years our senior would fetch and carry; follow out our orders; make our beds; pick up our clothes, cook our breakfast and lunch, carry us on their backs whilst doing housework, and even cook and clear our dinner plates late into the night. And for that we loved them … but we never loved them! Not the human, just the function.
Proud black people just put up with us … for generations. They took our shit! The black children (of our staff) were ‘allowed’ to play with us and our toys, so long as they kept us occupied. And remained subservient. Adults would justify, I’m not a racist, I even let the ‘black boy’ play with our son. In retrospect – it wasn’t really ‘play’, more like forced labour!
Until I went to school, my closest playmate was our housemaids son. I was discouraged from calling him ‘friend’ – but playmate was acceptable. I was always the “master”, he was – the servants ‘Boy’! When school going age came, we separated. I went to a privileged whites only government school with everything, he went to ‘black school’, a class somewhere in a shack, no toilets, and got taught under the trees. As a young boy, I didn’t comprehend, I didn’t grasp its effects. How it devalued a black life. It wasn’t talked about.
But as I grew, I began to question – something seemed off to me. My grandfather pulled me aside one day and told me the truth. He started by saying – you’re old enough to understand and this year you can vote. Use it son, use your vote to try change this situation. He worked with POC, he spoke the languages, he was ‘that (n-word) lover’ and he fought his whole life to improve the lives of POC. He told me frequently, we will pay some day for devaluing the life of a black person. He was right. He voted liberal and loathed the National Party who were the Government of South Africa – they never lost an election, not one, from 1948 until Mandela stood for election with the ANC in 1994. And then they lost everything that mattered to them, they were blind to what they’d gained! Generations had succumbed to Nationalist propaganda, it was entrenched. But not my Grandpa, he didn’t succumb. He showed me how little by little, day by day, a system can devalue the life of a person (racially) until they become so unimportant as humans, we don’t even hate them, we just ignore their humanity! Indifference is cruel.
He described in detail how black South Africans got a raw deal, he made me go see for myself. I went into a township. My overriding thought was how can these people still smile; still be happy; still have hope! Why haven’t they risen up against such a small white (SA) minority? I feel the same way about POC in America – why don’t they rise up and fight for their rights; for their children! Oh! …they just did.
But back then in SA, it was hard to fight for black equality, regardless of my grandfathers talk. Our media and politicians was brilliant at portraying the POC as greedy; incompetent; lazy; troublemakers; unworthy; uneducated (which was mostly true – but the government designed it that way to keep them down) and beneath us. They were portrayed as second rate citizens, even by name. But the biggest issue was a lack of association, of familiarisation, we never mixed together and so became fearful of one other. Distrustful. You don’t like what you don’t know or understand.
But a real almost unconscious thought by all South African whites was if we changed the system, it would be harder for us. Our Utopia would have to change. By levelling the playing field, we would have to share the riches of our land, even compete! Somehow we could never see a vision of ‘One Nation’. Instead of being privileged by colour, it would become by ability! Nobody really wanted that. So we buried our heads in the sand and found wonderful reasons to retain the status quo. Just like a group of Americans are doing now!
And I see a similar pattern in white dominance through the ages – It’s happening in America with POC now – (loans, schools, policing, mortgages, profiling, justice system, jobs), people just turn a blind eye and say – POC are needy, or similar. It’s happening all around the world – in Ukraine, in Tibet – it’s what we do – we turn a blind eye and carry on because that’s easier. Plastics; over fishing; whaling; climate change; RACISM … it’s somebody else’s problem! And the bigger the guilt when one day it slaps us in the face, the bigger our outrage! White Americans, Europeans, UK just got a massive slap in the face! It’s been a long time coming.
A few years after my grandfathers talk, I came face to face with my racist self! It was horrible. As a young 22 year old immature ‘boy’, I owned a restaurant and set about ‘teaching’ my 14 ‘black’ restaurant staff a lesson one day. Despite my grandfathers excellent advise I started yelling and shouting at them, bullying because they were all 30 minutes late for work – the way I carried on, you’d have thought they had stolen the weekly takings! They were all quite a lot older than me. I refused them tea and breakfast – this meal on arrival was a daily routine, but because they were late, I denied them this measly pleasure. About 15 minutes into my ‘rant’ my brilliant head chef, an amazing, wonderful strapping Zulu man asked if he could please speak to me outside. I could see he was angry, he was literally trembling with rage!
We went outside, at the time I didn’t realise why he said outside, but the reason became evident – even enraged, and a lot older than me, he was still respectful of my colour and my position as the owner. He didn’t want to speak the way he needed to, in front of the staff.
Sir, I want to tell you something … what time did we leave the restaurant last night? Around 11 pm I said. And how many days a week do we all work? 6 I replied. And how many uniforms do we each have? 2 I replied.
So Sir, let me tell you something – we wait for a taxi to go home together because it’s not safe. We live in the same township – note: by law, POC lived in townships (camps) on the edge of cities, they legally couldn’t live amongst white communities. So we all got home around 1 am. Then we eat and wash clothing. We don’t have hot water and must boil water on the fire, etc. Bath and clean our homes. It’s 2 am before we sleep – at the earliest. In the morning we wake at 6, to say hello to family and feed our children and have family time. They go to school and at 7 we get a bus back to the restaurant to be here at 9 or 9.15. We stay the whole day because it’s too expensive to go home in the break between lunch and dinner. (Meanwhile I could go home and relax – It was up the street for me). Before we leave home we must iron chefs whites, we only have 2 sets each and only have Sunday off. And so he went on … explaining his life, and the lives of his co-workers. Sometimes taxis are late, or break down. Sometimes the staff are just dog tired doing 16 hour days! And then he said – For many of us, this tea and bread is the first thing we eat since yesterday, we don’t control transport!! But you want to control our hunger!
I left at 11 last night, same as them, but I was in my car and home by 11.10. I had electricity, hot running water and warmth. The words of my grandfather came back to haunt me. He was still alive and I knew if he had witnessed what had played out, his response would have cut me to the bone. My guilt washed over me and I was so ashamed. I still am. As a white South African I could have and should have done more. We all should have. If I’d assimilated culturally with these hard working wonderful people, I would have understood the issues instead of judging them. White American, do not do what I did, what we did collectively as a country. Don’t try apply your lifestyle whilst trying to understand the issues POC face. We don’t know what it’s like! Learn from the past mistakes of others.
I addressed the issue with my staff immediately, it was easy to do. Somehow when you correct a terrible act or a moment of weak judgment or fix something that’s terribly wrong – it feels wonderful. It feels right! And how quickly my staff forgave me, you see, they know we don’t understand. White Americans/ Europeans / U.K. don’t understand … but that doesn’t make racism right! Is our apathy acceptable.
And so supportive guilty Whites are joining in to rid themselves of the stain of blood on our collective hands and the guilt of centuries of apathy. Meanwhile ignorant anti BML whites are pitching up to antagonise and disrupt the BLM movements, the peaceful protests, trying not to allow reality into their lives. They need to feel superior – it’s all they’ve got!
The naysayers are in denial and will always look to find justification for their collective apathy. It’s easier than facing the truth. People who say – “all lives matter” or “white lives matter too” are deluding themselves of the real issue! The reality is – white lives have always mattered. POC – not so much.
Colonialism; territorialism; nepotism; materialism etc. have always found an evil methodology to justify white action. We’ve wiped out indigenous people all over the planet out of greed and a sense of superiority. By saying BLM or POC matter we are simply elevating everyone else to the same level as us. Is that so wrong?
By suggesting that a bit of graffiti and window smashing = mass thuggery and a lowering of our American or Western Caucasian values and that it’s a stain on humanity, is ridiculous. Or that a bit of looting makes up for centuries of injustice and pillaging by whites, is both puerile and inconsistent. White ‘tribes’ have spent 2000 years looting the world for personal gain. Name one Black nation that has done anything to compare with white forced dominance. The only reason POC exist in the USA is because whites took them there as slaves. How do you turn a blind eye to that yet moan about looting a Target store.
But in all this, the really amazing thing for me is, as with the transfer of power in South Africa; or my personal restaurant scenario; or the current ‘riots’ in the USA; UK and around the world … is how incredibly restrained, peaceful and respectful the POC really are. How patient they are and have been. Willing to allow us Whites to “catch up”. Because history proves time and time again just how DUMB and ignorant we whites really are. We are afraid of what we don’t know. Whites wouldn’t take this level of injustice for a month, never mind a century.
We are fortunate to have such a peace loving, god fearing neighbour. All we need to do now is culturally assimilate and get on with equalising this sorry state of affairs. Find out what you’re dealings with before you criticise it. Racism is real, it’s also so very ‘yesterday’! I for one am looking forward to tomorrow!
Thanks grandpa!
B
