Can you help me please?

I have this stuck up bitch who threatened to fight me, and called me a rat bastard and a pig.

She’s not bright so you’re gonna have to dumb it right down so she understands you’re coming after her.

And she’s ‘Merican so prolly doesn’t have a passport and never travelled to exotic mature sophisticated beautiful countries like Italy. And her idea of a pizza is delivered by Pizza Hut.

She’s so dumb her Basil is pronounced Baaazziil and comes out of a bottle, which she calls ‘fresh’.

Can you deal with her for me please. She’s tedious .